random thoughts

i can’t remember the day for the life of me. have to remind myself every few hours that today is thursday, not tuesday. can’t forget i have an appointment with my psychiatrist on monday.

i’ve been listening to some rap songs [earl sweatshirt’s new album] to pass the time. for some reason, once it gets to “the mint”, i just sort of tune out the album until “playing possum”. this album epitomizes the jazz/hip-hop duality of pure hypergalactic music. pitchfork gave it an 8.8. i’d give it a 9.2, not that anyone asked.

my laptop keys are sticky. i still dont know what to make of ye. yeezus was the first album of his i was really aware of. i knew he did work for jay z but i was too young to think of him as a celebrity. i first heard black skinhead at a school assembly oddly enough, and i loved it. “new slaves” honestly was one of the biggest catalysts early on for me becoming an anarchist “”. i was something of a bourgeois socialist before that (or at least one in the making). even today, hearing the first few seconds of “on sight” gets me hyped to tear shit down. “bound 2” leaves me yearning for a liberated future where our biggest worries are what Jerome might think and where we can love unconditionally (sometimes i wonder what would happen if we were all just friends). but he’s changed. does that mean i should stop stanning him? maybe, but i don’t know. maybe i should stop dreaming of rocking yeezy outfits, and maybe i shouldn’t use kkw body. but i can’t help but wish the best for ye and his family. i can’t help but want to see him succeed. he’s got me sporting adidas shoes and writing about vanessa beecroft and virgil alboh, but now i listen to JPEGMAFIA and pinkcaravan! and pray I never go “blonde like Kanye”.

“i just want to feel liberated”, spray paint on concrete, 2018

sometimes i just get on twitter and worry about what the fuck i got myself into. between vitalist international and r/acc, there’s no happy endings. i wanna see my follower count grow but i wonder what the point is. i think i just want to be heard but i’m afraid i have nothing worth being heard. all i’ve got are a few expansions of obscure concepts like sun ra’s intergalactic music (which i call hypergalactic music) and nick land’s inhibited synthesis (what i prefer to call neo-colonialism). the real question is why would anyone care to hear my specific take on sun ra or nick land when there are already 50 others out there. i’m just not sure exactly what value i add to the equation. though, i’m sure there’s got to be some value i add, else i likely wouldn’t be speculating on these things. but still. what the fuck did i get myself into.

i had to delay an interview with juliana huxtable because i ended up in the hospital. i need to reschedule but first i need to rewrite some of the questions since it was very “2018 in review”. i really feel like shit for having to postpone it but i understand a skype interview can be easily scheduled. its just still very daunting for me. i’m blessed that she’s willing to be interviewed by me, lord knows why, but i just still feel so anxious doing anything “professional”. i find it hard to believe anything worth reading/consuming/sharing can be produced by my body. i wanted to start a podcast called “the dance of anxiety” (a phrase i stole from the anti-oedipus papers) to highlight that this anxiety is something most producers deal with, but i never actually performed the dance, so the podcast never got made. maybe that’ll change. i have this fantasy that i could start a podcast still.

i bought a hundred year old first year latin book with the hopes that i could use it to start learn latin, but i barely have the motivation to do the first chapter of exercises. i just want to get back to a place where i can sit down for more than 20 minutes are read something calmly. [trigger warning: sexual assault, r*pe] i’ve been on edge since may (since i was r*ped). honestly kanye-produced albums dropping every week was the only way i made it through that month, i at least had something short term to hold onto and to give me something to look forward to. since then i’ve relied on adderall and acid to give me the concentration to make it through a book. i worry i won’t ever be the same. everything changes when you go through extreme trauma. its not like i don’t have experience with CSA. years of abuse i went through. but somehow then i was able to learn and grow through all of that. maybe just because i thought that what i was going through was normal and not something to think about or consider as unusual. now its all i can think about some days. i can’t even escape it in my dreams. i’m woken up by nightmares at 3am regularly. suffer through sleep paralysis, trying my best to scream for help without being able to open my mouth or move, forgetting i dealt with this just three days prior. i’m getting really tired of going through this shit and therapists not recognizing the way my trauma has impacted my life. fuck CBT. i really wish i could see a psychoanalyst, stop fucking around with these useless “cognitive behavioural therapists”. every time i try to criticize their modality i have to argue with the therapist or psychiatrist half an hour about why CBT isn’t prepared to deal with me. but kaiser doctors just aren’t willing to listen to me. they treat me like just another crazy patient that doesn’t know what’s best for them.

i really want a blueberry muffin. i give glitter by 070 shake a 7.0. the album is calming and the first two tracks bump, but i’ve read 070 shake at one point googled “drake type beats” and as a project it sounds like a generic hip-pop daze. as far as eps go, its not my favourite.

my greatest work will forever be my facebook profile picture.

2019 Reading Goals

For those of us who may acknowledge the Gregorian calendar, today is the start of a new year. From what I’ve seen 2018 was a rough year for a lot of us, myself included, and it’s my hope that 2019 is (at the very least) better. I started this blog after being out of the hospital only a few days, and have since been hospitalized again (which should justify my lack of posts since i began this blog). One of my big goals for 2019 is to post regularly on this blog and finish updating the Hyperzine to the point that i feel it is ready to share [again really sorry about the delays].

The books I’d like to read in 2019 are listed, in order of when I’d like to complete them. Inshallah, I’ll be able to make a post including my notes on each text.


  • The Invisible Committee, The Coming Insurrection
  • Deleuze, Nietzsche and Philosophy
  • Deleuze and Guattari, Anti-Oedipus (The Desiring-Machines)
  • Bifo, The Uprising
  • Bifo, Breathing


  • The Invisible Committee, To Our Friends
  • Laurelle, From Decision to Heresy
  • Deleuze and Guattari, Anti-Oedipus (Psychoanalysis and Familialism, and Savages, Barbarians, Civilized Men)


  • Deleuze and Guattari, Anti-Oedipus (Introduction to Schizoanalysis)
  • Guattari, Schizoanalytic Cartographies
  • Virilio, Popular Defense & Ecological Struggles


  • Virilio, The Administration of Fear
  • Klossowski, Nietzsche and the Vicious Circle
  • Laruelle, Struggle and Utopia at the End Times of Philosophy
  • Nietzsche, The Birth of Tragedy


  • Deleuze and Guattari, A Thousand Plateaus (Introduction, Plateaus 1-5)
  • Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil


  • Deleuze and Guattari, A Thousand Plateaus (Plateaus 6-11)
  • Nietzsche, On the Genealogy of Morals
  • Virilio, Pure War


  • Deleuze and Guattari, A Thousand Plateaus (Plateaus 12-15)
  • Schizo-Culture
  • Nietzsche, The Case of Wagner
  • Nietzsche, Ecce Homo


  • Spinoza, Ethics
  • Deleuze, Spinoza
  • Kierkegaard, Repetition
  • Kierkegaard, Philosophical Fragments
  • Wilkins, Irreversible Noise


  • Kant, Critique of Pure Reason (Introduction, Transcendental Aesthetic, Transcendental Logic, and Transcendental Analytic)
  • Virilio, Lost Dimension


  • Kant, Critique of Pure Reason (Transcendental Dialectic)
  • Guattari, Machinic Unconscious
  • Tiqqun, Introduction to Civil War


  • Kant, Critique of Pure Reason (Transcendental Doctrine of Method)
  • Schelling, System of Transcendental Idealism
  • Laruelle, General Theory of Victims


  • Tiqqun, This is Not a Program
  • Deleuze, Difference and Repetition
  • Grant, Philosophies of Nature After Schelling
  • Laruelle, Philosophies of Difference

In 2020 i really want to read the Critique of Practical Reason, Critique of the Power of Judgement, and maybe get into Fitche, Schopenhauer, and more Kierkegaard.

txgen’s guattari reading list

like all the other lists on this blog, this will be constantly updated. let me know in the comments or in my email ( what changes you’d recommend.

by Guattari:
Lines of Flight (This is probably the best introduction to Guattari I can think of besides maybe Genosko’s Felix Guattari)
There are some really strong essays in the collected works. As I tell my tutorees, download the pdfs and see which you gravitate towards. I’d also read the interviews published in The Guattari Effect
Chaosmosis (You probably want to read Three Ecologies before this)
Schizoanalytic Cartographies (tbh I’d read ATP before I read this)

with Deleuze:
For a good introduction to Deleuze, I’d maybe recommend his Empiricism and Subjectivity, Spinoza, and his Nietzsche and Philosophy. Also Hardt has a good text titled Gilles Deleuze I’d recommend.

What is Philosophy?
Are either of these necessary? Eventually. But they aren’t a priority, or at least I wouldn’t prioritize them. I would plan to read them at some point.

Anti-Oedipus (I’d read Difference and Repetition before I read AO if I were you.)
A Thousand Plateaus (I’d recommend Bonta and Protevi’s Deleuze and Geophilosophy as a good companion text also Grosz’s Chaos, Territory, Art)

“Further”/Secondary Reading
Lazarrato, Marcel Duchamp and The Refusal of Work
Clastres, Society Against the State
Stengers and Prigogine, Order out of Chaos
Marx, Capital (especially Vol 1 part 7-9, and Vol 3 parts 6 and 7)
Vaneigem, The Revolution of Everyday Life
Tiqqun and Invisible Committee
Freud, Beyond the Pleasure Principle
Spinoza, Ethics
Simondon, L’individuation psychique et collective
Preciado, Testo Junkie

Welcome to my blog.

Everyone else seems to have a blog so I thought “hey, why not start one myself.” I don’t expect anything but garbage to be posted here but if you find something of use here then by all means, I invite you to follow along this weird journey.

For those of you unaware, I have a project that’s gone by many names that I’ve been working on for years. I keep putting out release dates and then shit happens. I’m glad no one’s been tooo upset, but I understand I’ve likely ruffled some feathers these past few months, putting out three different release dates and missing every single one of them. Quite frankly, I suffer from PTSD as a result of r*pe and CSA which makes working hard at times, and sometimes I might get a bit ahead of myself (or get too manic) so I ask your forgiveness on delays. Between hospitalizations, housing insecurity, and cross-country travel life’s been hectic. I’m stabilizing though.

I’ve got a bunch of posts drafted so in the event I can’t bring myself to write something for the day, I’ll just submit something random. My project on intergalacticity has moved to If you don’t have a log in and you should, hmu and I’ll set up an account for you. If you’re wondering why it’s behind a paywall, it’s because the amount of work that goes into writing/research, the fact that I desperately need financial support these days, and the fact that the project is only in alpha so it’s a limited release. “What’s over there?” you might be asking. Well, it’s a hypertextual introduction to my project. A print version will be available some time in March probably (sorry its going to take so long, that’s just how long its going to take me).

Not really even sure what I’m rambling on about. Basically I’ve been struggling, but things are getting better. I’m no k-punk but hopefully something good comes of this blog.

– Love, Txgen

The Becoming-Who of the Grinch and the Abolition of the Family

Today I went to a movie theater in Boise and saw ‘The Grinch’. I only knew about the film because Tyler, the Creator did some of the music and I quite enjoyed his take on ‘You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch‘ (all the songs he did have heavy flower boy themes; he also did I Am The Grinch). I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the film.

To badly summarize, the film takes place in Whoville and the surrounding regions, beginning on the 20th of December. Whoville is a seemingly communitarian municipality [currency does exist but is used sparingly; there is no one shown without a home; there is a somewhat free distribution of excess resources; electricity-production is greater than could ever be imagined] however the Grinch (and his loyal canine servant Max) are under a self-imposed exclusion from the activities of the town, especially those related to the Christmas holiday. Having spent an extensive amount of time overeating as a result of stress and depression caused by the coming holiday, the Grinch must make a trip into Whoville to get groceries. As he enters the town, he is bombarded with carolling Whos, carrying a heavily Christian message that Christmas is approaching. He rushes through the town to get to the grocer, displaying anti-social behaviours towards the Whos.

Simultaneously, Donna Who is shown falling asleep on a bus going home to her children Cindy Lou, Buster, and Bean after working the night shift. Cindy Lou observes her mother is overworked and struggling to care for her children, and proceeds to prepare a letter with her wish for Santa Claus, and departs the home to deliver the letter [her one wish being that her mother be relieved of some of her obligations to her children and job]. On her way to give the letter to the post office worker, Cindy Lou [literally] runs into the Grinch who [sarcastically] tells her it would. be best to tell Santa herself than attempt to have a letter delivered. Believing this to be the best option, Cindy Lou decides to develop a plan to trap Santa Claus.

When he returns home [Mount Crumpit], the Grinch fills his time with improvising on the refrain of “All By Myself” by Celine Dion and playing chess with his dog. We soon learn of his past trauma, ostracized from the Whos as a child as he is an orphan, the weight of his isolation heightened as the holiday season comes to its peak. Every Christmas he has watched families and the community of Whos come together and joyously celebrate the holiday, while being excluded from the festivities, left to live a joyless existence in a run down orphanage. Being reminded of his traumatic past leads him to plan to ‘steal’ Christmas. What we observe is the becoming-Santa of the Grinch by first finding his reindeer. In order to find a reindeer, the Grinch performs the refrain of the reindeer, however all that appears is a goat whose scream scares away all the reindeer in sight. Only one extremely large reindeer is left, Fred, who the Grinch invites into his home.

Fred and Max assist the Grinch as he employs a nomad science and develops tools which will aid him in becoming-Santa, stealing a decorative sled from a Who named Mr. Bricklebaum [and subsequently working on the sled so that it becomes a functional sleigh], allowing the trio to begin test runs of the Grinch’s master plan. Upon his first test, the Grinch discovers that Fred has a mate and child, leading the Grinch to free Fred, coercing Max into a becoming-reindeer to pull the sled in Fred’s absence.

Come Christmas Eve, the Grinch sucessfully steals every tree, decoration, light, and present from every home in Whoville without notice. However, upon his arrival to the last home in all of Whoville, the home of Cindy Lou, he falls into her trap [a string tied to a cookie which proceeds to tighten a rope around his ankles and trap him in mid air]. Cindy Lou unties the Grinch, believing him to be Santa, asking him to allow his mother to work less. While in conversation with him, Cindy Lou tells the Grinch of the joys of singing in tandem with her community. She speaks of the communal song-creation as an event which [when experienced, even as an observer] alleviates all worries and that brings joy into the hearts of every musician-Who involved. She speaks of a universal happiness that we should be working towards [“Everyone deserves to be happy, right?”]. The Grinch agrees, though nonetheless the Grinch proceeds to send Cindy Lou back to her bed and continues to steal the final belongings.

As morning strikes Whoville, the town rises to discover that every Christmas related object in the town has disappeared. Cindy Lou is led to believe that she is at fault as she trapped [who she believed to be] Santa. Donna Who reminds her child that what was stolen was only external physical objects, and that the object of Christmas is internal to the Whos. [I am reminded that it is the mark which makes the territory.] The Whos gather to sing “Welcome Christmas”, repeating the refrain “welcome home” at such a volume and frequency that it can be heard all the way at the top of Mount Crumpit, where the Grinch fled to destroy the objects. As the Grinch begins to push the objects across the threshold of the mountain and into the void, he hears the refrain, closes his eyes, and undergoes a becoming-everyone, -everything. It is then that his heart, which was formerly described as having shrunk by two sizes, grows by three. As his sleigh crosses the threshold, he jumps off the ledge to stop it from falling, being aided by Fred, his family, and Max at the last second. He takes the belongings he stole and returns them to Whoville, admitting to stealing the objects, and apologizing for his wrongdoing, returning to his cave soon after.

Soon after, Cindy Lou finds her way to the entrance of the home of the Grinch, bringing with her an invitation to Christmas dinner. The Grinch accepts the invitation, notably wearing a tie upon arrival, being greeted gleefully by all the guests in attendance. He gives a toast, expressing that it was never Christmas he despised, but the isolation and exclusion which came with it, thanking Cindy Lou for opening his eyes, and his heart. Concluding the film, the Grinch carves the turkey at the invitation of Donna, and enters into a becoming-Who, -communal.

What I find is that the film exemplifies both a message of the abolition of work and the abolition of the family as it is only through these two that the true desires of both Cindy Lou and the Grinch can be fulfilled. It is obvious that Cindy Lou desires her mother have the freedom from work, as working the night shift and caring for her children during the day has taken an emotional and psychological toll on Donna. If obligatory work were to be abolished, her mother would have the ability to focus on what truly matters to her as it is evidenced she is working a menial job that could easily be automated. However, the desires of the Grinch may not be as clear to the average viewer as those of Cindy Lou.

It is only through a becoming-Santa that even the traumatized Grinch learns compassion, and it is through a becoming-Who that the Grinch approaches the plan(e) of consistency. Only through an experience with the cosmic refrain of Whoville was the Grinch able to enter into a becoming-everbody, -everything. The Grinch does not consummate a marriage by cutting the turkey, he does not enter into a familial bond. Instead he enters into a community, contributes to a collective index. I believe we can assume the desire of the Grinch is to create a communal bond through which he can redefine himself onto the plan(e) if consistency. Maybe I can say more about this later, my flight is about to take off.